Because she was so Beautiful
by ph0enixxxxx
Summary: Ginny Weasley: devastation, pain & hurt...all because she was so Beautiful.


Because she was so Beautiful  
  
Watching time pass is almost painful, clicking of the second hand on the clock. Ticking begins driving into my ears, and never stops. It drags - time drags along, especially when I don't want it to, usually in boring classes. or uncomfortable moments. Classes like Potions; Professor Snape always tries to make it particularly hard for me, as well as for the other Gryffindors; it's his passion.  
  
"Something boring you, Miss Weasley?" Snapes voice droned in one boring note as I stared him boringly in the eye. I absolutely hated him, almost as much as Draco Malfoy. His greasy hair was in such thick tangles that it looked like dead snakes, hanging there hiding their faces. Snape looked at me wanting an answer; I was drowned in such deep thought that I'd almost forgotten how to do so.  
  
"No Professor," I lied.  
  
"A you sure?" he said, silking his S.  
  
"Yes I'm sure, Professor."  
  
"Really, Miss Weasley?"  
  
I nodded slightly and slowly, trying to figure where this was heading.  
  
"If you're so sure, then you would've been listening, and therefore you would know the two major ingredients in Veritaserum."  
  
He had caught me, cornered me, and I knew it was going further, "I - I wasn't -"  
  
"You weren't listening, were you Miss Weasley?"  
  
Before I could answer he had surfaced those two words I hated so much: detention, tonight.  
  
"Detention with me tonight, Miss Weasley."  
  
The words rang in my ears like the clock hand ticking. Detention, tonight. Tonight.Detention.  
  
*  
  
Slowly I trailed into the empty Great Hall for dinner, it was early to eat, though I had no where else to waste my 'precious' time. I looked up at the opposite side of the table, as I twiddled my knife in hand. Hermione had just sat there, propping her book up and reading in an engrossed fashion. I didn't care that she hadn't noticed me until two pages into her book, though, I felt a jolt of acceptance when she finally redirected her eyes to mine.  
  
"Ginny," she said in an as-a-matter-of-factly way, "I've been sitting here for five minutes and you haven't said a thing." I stared dumbfounded, "You haven't told me how your classes were, asked how Ron is doing, or even mentioned your hungry. You've been like this for weeks now.What's wrong?"  
  
I knew Hermione wouldn't ask me what was wrong if she didn't really care. She had that look in her eyes that told me she wanted me to tell her what I deeply felt, like I used to. I sighed, placing my hand under my chin.  
  
"Nothing's wrong," I lied.  
  
I turned my head noticing the people dribbling in quite quickly. Turning back to Hermione I found a displeased look, "If you're sure," she said uncertainly.  
  
I stood up, ready to leave. I wasn't hungry and couldn't face the mounds of people.  
  
"Where are you going?" Hermione asked, looking confused.  
  
"I'm not hungry; I think I'll go to bed."  
  
I began walking away from the Gryffindor table just as Harry sat down.  
  
"Are sure you're fine?" Hermione called out.  
  
I turned my head rapidly, flicking my red hair. I just wanted to tell her, I'm scared, I wanted to say it, but I couldn't bring myself to let the words roll off my tongue, especially when Harry was there. "I'm fine," I insisted once again.just hoping she couldn't see behind the act.  
  
*  
  
Walking up the staircase I looked around the corridors. Every second person was looking at me, or maybe trying to look through me.Seamus, Crabbe, Dean and Neville.Each of them made me shiver.their cold stares.  
  
I looked to the ground as people began surveying my body with their eyes, I hated that feeling and I couldn't escape it. When I was at the top of the stairs I stopped just as I came to a pair of feet. I surfaced my eyesight upwards until I came to a torso.I had to level my head higher until I saw him.Draco Malfoy.  
  
His blond hair was flicked slightly over his face and a well known smirk planted. It was a smirk I despised deeply; I couldn't explain how much I hated him, his whole body, soul, attitude, life. It made me shake and shiver as I remembered back; remembered that night.  
  
Draco Malfoy leant over gently to whisper sombre delicate words in my ear. Telling me that he needed me, wanted me; telling me he was there. I shook with light frailty as he placed his hand on my knee, and looked nervously around the corner of the bookcase, sure and scared someone would see.  
  
I sighed gently at the thoughts and feelings of that night, just as I realized where I was. He was still stood there, staring at me with dark eyes. Why was he just standing there in front of me? I thought he would have told me to 'get the hell out of his way,' but he looked almost frozen. I wish I could've known what he was thinking.  
  
How does she manage to look so beautiful? Her hair is so delicately placed in the right place, her eyes look so cunning.though.her freckles give her innocence.I don't feel bad for what I've done. She was worth it, and I'd do it again if I had the chance.  
  
"Can I help you?" I questioned, watching him still stand there.  
  
He licked his lips maliciously, "You could."  
  
I knew where this was going, so I tried to step past him and out of his way. He stopped me abruptly, placing one hand on each shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.  
  
There was the hatred I knew again, I could have just slapped him there and then, though my arms were pinned. Forcing hard I began pulling away and walked towards the portrait, "Lumos," I spat out quickly.  
  
Climbing in the portrait hole, I was aware that Malfoy was watching me, but as the portrait closed, there was nothing he could do, he couldn't touch me, hurt me, he couldn't get to me.Soon after, when the portrait opened again, my heart jumped.  
  
I ran through the bare common room and up the stairs into my dormitory; closing the door behind and sitting lightly on the bed. I didn't know why, but I was waiting for something, I wasn't expecting to sit on my bed for the next half an hour and stare blankly ahead. But I was still scared, no one knew what had happened, I didn't want to admit it, let alone tell anyone.  
  
As the door opened creakily it broke my thoughts. I jumped expecting Malfoy to walk through the door.but Harry and his glasses poked through.  
  
I breathed a small sigh and placed a fake smirk on my face.it was really the best I could do. Crossing my legs I watched him curiously as he sat on the end of my bed.  
  
"Gin," he breathed quietly.  
  
I had no idea what was happening, Harry was looking at me so respectably.I merely nodded and watched his green eyes intently. Harry shuffled in closer and placed his hand on my knee, I shivered coldly, even though he made me feel so warm.  
  
"What's been happening lately?"  
  
I looked down at his hand, and then back into his green eyes, I knew he could tell I was scared, but I would never tell him. Not Harry.I'd never told Harry anything in my life, and I wasn't time to start now, when I was more scared than I'd ever been before.  
  
"N - nothing," I stuttered.  
  
Harry looked at me doubtfully. I could tell he was thinking, or merely staring.he was gazing in my eyes intently, watching me closely.that moment when he leaned in and kissed me, feelings soared, but all that surfaced to my brain was: scared.I was scared.  
  
*  
  
Tripping out of my dormitory, I slammed the door behind, sliding unstably down the wall. As I cried to myself, I watched Hermione come slowly towards me, her eyesight directed to her books in her hands.  
  
"Ginny!" she exclaimed, as she dropped her books and came to my aid, "What's wrong?"  
  
I wiped my tears away and stood up against the wall, 'Nothing's wrong," I told her, "I - I've got to.got to go..."  
  
Pushing past Hermione, I noticed her worried glance. I really didn't care what she thought at that moment, or even what she wanted to know. I didn't want to tell her anything, and as much as she looked at me sympathetically, I wasn't going to snap. Walking further away, I was aware that Hermione watched Harry walk out of my dormitory, I could image her face at that moment, but I didn't want to turn and look. At that time, I really didn't care.  
  
*  
  
In the dungeons, I walked between the stone cold corridors, feeling the bitter cold weather live under my skin. Shivering as I came to the Potions dungeon, I sat on the ground heftily, I didn't want to see his face at this moment, I didn't want to go into that dank room, and have to abide by what he says.  
  
Placing my hand over my eyes I heard the dungeon door creep open. Just out the gap in my fingers, I could see Professor Snapes black pants and black robes. He placed his stale hand on mine, "Get up," he told me. I sniffed painfully as he pulled me up, and then pushed me roughly into his classroom, "You're here to serve detention, not feel sorry for your self."  
  
Taking a deep breath and eyeing the potion cupboard, I sat on one of the desks and watched as the pastel faced, greasy haired man came closer.  
  
*  
  
Trailing my footsteps lightly, I walked to the Astronomy Tower, in some ways it was favourite place to be.I sat in the rounded empty room by my self and held my knees close to my chest, shivered as the cold wind drafted through the small arch windows.  
  
The Astronomy Tower was a place that no one came to, unless they wanted to get up to mischief, but that didn't happen too often in the cold weather, since the Tower was one of the coldest places to be. Closing my eyes tightly and crying painfully I relived my past day. It hurt to think about. It made my heart stab, and I hated that feeling, as if someone was pushing a nail through my chest. I just wanted to get away from this place, these people, have a normal life.but that would take more time, and more pain.  
  
Thinking for hours on end, I finally knew what I wanted, how it was going to happened, and where.Back in the Gryffindor common room, I took my quill to parchment and began to write.  
  
*  
  
Sitting heavily in the arm chair by the fire, Hermione looked around the bare common room with boredom. It was usual to have this few people in here at this time, since everyone was eating dinner right about now. Neville was sat in one corner reading a book, and two first years were on the floor playing chess.  
  
Hermione began skimming her eyes across everything in the common room, until she came to the table in front of her. Familiar writing was scripted across a white piece of parchment, "Ginny," Hermione whispered.  
  
Taking the parchment she scanned her eyes over the words, and let her mouth drop. Running as fast as she could, Hermione made her way down the levels of stairs to the Great Hall. Barging through the doors she ran to the Teachers table and stopped in front of Professor Dumbledore. "Professor," she puffed, "You need to read this." Dumbledore looked at it carefully.You could never tell with Dumbledore, how he was going to react, since in the worst of times, he always wore the same expression.  
  
Everyone's eyes were already on Hermione, since she had run in, but the students watched more intensely as Dumbledore stood up slowly and spoke.  
  
"I've gone, departed and purposely left all you behind," several people around the room furrowed their brow in confusion. "I couldn't live like that; I couldn't be there with all of you looking down on me everyday. I can't explain what's happened, and what I've done, because I don't know whose hands this will end up in. I just have no concept any longer, and I've run away." Dumbledore paused for a moment as Ron looked down the Gryffindor table for Ginny.  
  
"I don't want to be remembered as weak, but I can't admit that I was strong. I don't mind if I'm not remembered, I really don't care. But those who do insist on remembering me, make sure it was for good. I'm sorry for all the pain I've put you through, and all the pain I will put you through after you read this. I'm sorry I had to leave. I'm so sorry." Dumbledore paused once again and looked to Ron, "Sincerely Ginny Weasley."  
  
Many people in the room looked to Ron who had his head lain in his cupped hands, others looked at themselves in guilt. Dean Thomas felt a stab of fault his chest, so did Crabbe, Goyle and Seamus.  
  
Draco Malfoy looked down to his lap, Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat and Professor Snape looked to his left and right shiftily. All these men had something in common, at the exact same time; they all felt guilty.though no one else knew. They had a voice in the back of their head, telling them they'd done wrong.  
  
Everyone in the room thought Ginny had run away, gone, fled from the grounds, but they didn't know the truth, and they didn't know why.  
  
The truth was laid in the Astronomy tower, one of Ginny's favourite places to be. It would be discovered sooner or later, her body on the stone cold floor of the Tower, but for now the truth had to stay hidden.  
  
Ginny obviously wanted it that way; she wanted to escape from the whole world because a few men had done something so shallow: had taken advantage.  
  
They had caused her to take her life in the Astronomy Tower, where no one could feel her pain, where no one could hear her cry.  
  
That's where Ginny laid, her motionless corpse so cold that the fingertips were blue, and her poison surfacing through her body so destructively that blood wept from her mouth. That's where she was, and where she was going to stay, until guilt finally devoured into some one else's heart and guided them to that lonely room.  
  
Perhaps one day the voice in the back of Snape, Harry or even Malfoy's head, will drive them to realize they had done something so wrong, caused Ginny pain, and surfaced a loss, all because they were so conceited. all because she was so beautiful.  
  
* 


End file.
